Yesterday I had the sense that the sermon I preached on Sunday wasn't finished with me yet. It's amazing to me how the sermon is often just as much a word to the preacher as it is to the people. I had hoped to highlight the refrain: everything depends on where we put our hope in life and then I ended up having to wrestle with where I've been placing my hope recently. In the parable of the mustard seed (Mark 4:30-32), hope is placed in the smallest of seed. Moreover, soon after the seed is sown there is little evidence that anything is happening! The whole of our task is to trust and watch for the evidence of the kingdom of God.
I guess it's hard for me to stare at dirt. I'm a pretty impatient person. I want to see the plentiful results of the kingdom and I want to see those results right now. It's hard for me to wait on the Lord. According to Isaiah 40:31, "those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength...." These words of Isaiah informed our call to worship on Sunday. You would have thought that I would have heard them since I was the one who spoke them but I found myself wrestling with my own agenda for the church. Unfortunately, my agenda is not always the agenda of Jesus. On Monday a friend of mine helped me to see that some of what happens at Village is because of what I do but even more can happen because of what I don't do. It sounds funny but I think he's right. It's an odd paradox I hope to learn more about in the years ahead. How can I do the things I'm called to do and, even more so, how can I make room for others to invest their gifts and talents in the life of the church?
It's almost like I've got to learn the lesson of "Finding Nemo." Marlin wants to control every aspect of his son's life but he learns to live only after he let's go of his tendency to control everything. Can it be that I need to learn the lesson of "Finding Nemo" in relation to the church? Who's gonna grow this thing if I'm not responsible? Well, since I have some severe limitations perhaps it would be best for me to put my hope in the Lord. Just this afternoon someone sent me these verses from Lamentations 3:22-26, 31-32, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.' The Lord is good to those who wait for him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. For the Lord will not reject forever. Although he causes grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve anyone."
Words of hope for this impatient preacher who seeks both to speak and to listen.